I have been staying inside a lot more than most years lately. I didn’t want to go out and meet with friends or do anything but play video games or work on my VR worlds.
Seasonal affective disorder always strikes me with a bit of a melancholy in the winter when it is dark, but over the years I’ve learned to enjoy it somewhat.
I know that my mood will turn me inward, to reflect on myself, be more fearful of others and to worry about my connections with friends instead of doing anything to strengthen them.
I also know that the ebb and flow of my mental state will allow me the brilliance to shine brightly and be the life of the party soon after.
Keeping this in mind I often take my darker days a little easier. Distraction and keeping busy are often the best tools in my arsenal to stave off the worry.
Keeping busy often helps me in two ways. I often feel guilty if I don’t contribute to the things that are rewarding to me.
Creating VR worlds, art, software, or repairing electronics bring me a zen kind of feeling. The joy is in the doing.
Today I have instead begun to put my office back together. It’s a small step, but an important one.
Too many distractions in the place where I go to think and work leads to distress and wandering thoughts. I see only what needs fixing to get to the things I want to do, and not a place where I can feel free to create.
I think this coming week I’m going to make a big push to clean up and reorganize.
Hopefully in the meantime a full time opportunity I’ve been working on becomes a reality.
Thanks for reading.